Editor's note: In today's edition of the weekend Masters Series, we hear from our friend and mentor Bill Bonner on one of his ongoing themes: zombies.
Bill – founder of Agora Inc. – warns that our society is beset by people and organizations that draw off the productive part of our economy... without contributing anything to it themselves. You can see these parasites most blatantly in the government... but they're everywhere.
Today's piece – originally published in the January 17 issue of Bill's free e-letter Diary of a Rogue Economist – identifies some of the attitudes that define the zombies in our culture. We hope you enjoy his essay...
How to Get to the Top in Zombieland
By Bill Bonner
Not much action in the markets. At first, we thought investors were waiting for the outcome of the "fiscal cliff" wrangling. Now... we don't know what they're waiting for.
So let's turn to something else – some bad advice for career-oriented women.
It comes from the Financial Times in London... concerns France... and includes the thoughts of one Brigitte Lemercier.
We highlight it here only to open up a discussion of a larger issue. But we'll come to that in a minute...
The article is about how few women are in positions of power at major French companies. The government of Francois Hollande thought that numerical balance between yin and yang, masculine and feminine, was important. In the cabinet, there are 17 members who wear skirts... and 17 who don't.
This is widely seen as an important achievement, much more important than the fact that the country is going broke.
Then, attention turns to the private sector, where there was, until recently, only one woman at the head of one of France's top 40 companies. And she was an American who has since been replaced with a man.
Tant pis? Well... what can we say... apparently there are people who worry about such things.
Success – the Zombie Way
So, the article turns to a woman to give other women a hint on how to get to the top. Brigitte Lemercier, head of a company that hunts heads in Paris, suggests that women should "excel in their studies." They should also "network." They should find a good mentor, "if it is a man, you should choose someone a good 20 years older who can feel paternalistic."
Good advice? Yes and no.
If you want to be a zombie... and get a good position in a zombie organization... it is good advice. Zombie groups don't worry about ever producing anything of value or ever having to satisfy a customer. They live off subsidies, privileges, monopolies, grants, credentials, and so forth.
Like the government itself, what counts are paper and politics – who you are and who you know. Get a good piece of paper with your name on it. Spend your time blah-blahing in a "network." Look for people who can help you get an edge.
Hey, maybe you can run a major corporation... like Carly Fiorina and Meg Whitman. Then, like Whitman and Fiorina, you can use your networking skills to move into politics – which is probably the closest thing to running a major corporation.
Don't forget to sound like a sympathetic, dynamic hack. Be sure to use a lot of business jargon. "Let's get six alpha pups in here and address core competency issues going forward"... Or "Make sure you incent the A-team before we go live with the rollout"...
Get a lot of consultants into the head office. Read all the latest Biz-Wiz books.
Or maybe you could you use Paula Broadwell as a role model. There's a woman who knew how to network... and how to get a mentor... and dress for success.
She got America's top general... the hero of "The Surge"... in her back pocket, so to speak. And education! She went to West Point and Harvard. Can't do better than that.
She was also an expert on terrorism – the perfect zombie expertise. No one would ever know if she knew what she was talking about or not.
Do Unto Others...
But if you want to run a business that creates real wealth, Madame Lemercier's advice is terrible. Forget all that education and "networking" claptrap... and focus on satisfying customers – at a profit.
Wowie, zowie! Now we're thinking "out of the box"! Stop pandering and sucking up to important zombies and think about the business. Take your mind off your own pathetic career and give a care for the customers. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you, for Pete's sake.
Why didn't Madame Lemercier mention it? Because the Rule of Reciprocity scarcely applies in Zombieland.
In Zombieland, neither output nor customer satisfaction matters. What matters is connections... credentials... hot air. B.S., in other words.
If you know the right people, you can network yourself into sweet gigs. Say, in a university. Or a think tank. Or at the Pentagon. Or the Department of Irrelevant Matters that Everyone Forgot About 50 Years Ago.
In Zombieland, it doesn't really matter if your ideas and opinions are nothing more than hollow claptrap. What matters is hype and horses**t. It's a B.S. world, in other words.
And Madame Lemercier is giving B.S. advice...
Regards,
Bill Bonner
Editor's note: Bill recently released a report full of useful advice to guide investors down the road of long-term wealth creation and preservation. By sharing these tips from his own life, Bill hopes to help readers build up enough wealth and knowledge to support their families for years. To learn more about this report – and start down the road to wealth – click here.